Afraid to love again

I’ve been single for a while and quite frankly, I’m getting TIRED of the single life. I want to give the whole relationship thing another try, but why can’t I? What’s holding me back? I’ve narrowed it down to one thing: I’m afraid of loving again and being hurt again. 

Some might find it unfathomable for a guy to say he’s afraid to love again because he doesn’t want to be hurt, but keep in mind that that we do have feelings no matter how hard we try to hide it because it’s ‘un-man-like’. I have no problems with letting my feelings be known instead of bottling them up until I can’t take it anymore.

 I’ve been in love twice and both times, I fell hard. On both occasions I expected too much and was left disappointed. At the end of everything, I realized I was lied to, used and taken for a fool. With that, I’ve built a wall around my heart that I have no of letting down. (Unless…)

 Feeling used is one of the most hurtful feelings. Imagine opening up to someone, telling them of your past and thinking that you could trust them. Imagine having someone who seemed so interested in knowing YOU, only to find out that they had ulterior motives. All the ‘I Love You’, simply lies told to paint a picture of something that was never there. Imagine finding out that EVERYTHING was a lie, all the pillow talks and the ‘hurt’ you were told, were all lies. Lies to suck you in and make you feel sorry for them. Everything was a lie; the premise of the ‘relationship’ was based on lies. Imagine coming to the conclusion that you were just being used for sex. 

 I’m scared to love again out of fear of being hurt again. That’s a road I don’t ever want to go down again. I was young and inexperienced to the reality of how people can really be, with that, I was taken advantage of. I’ve learned a lot and now I know the necessary precautions to take, but in the back of my mind I can’t help but think… I’m going to be hurt again. Should we all just accept that being hurt is a part of life, that it’s inevitable? Accept that it’s okay to be hurt, but show your strength. Show that you’re able to pick yourself up and move on and not let THAT experience hinder you from loving and being loved again. I think it’s time that I take my own advice.