I Still Remember

I remember the first time I saw you, how I thought I had to have you. I remember how at the sight of you, I ditched my friends just to be with you.  I remember the look on your face when you first saw me, A bit of surprise (at how I approached you) and a look of intrigue. I remember the curves of your smile.

I remember how we had sex on the dance floor with our eyes. Yes, it was your eyes that trapped me. That intense and seductive look that with every glance; a piece of clothing came off. I remember your lips, how you would slowly clasp them and then gently bite them… oh how I envisioned them touching mine.

I remember when my vision came true and we were all alone and your lips became mine. I remember how soft and supple they were. I remember how we kissed for what seemed to be hours… everything around us slowed down as our lips danced to the music in the background. I remember how my lips caressed your body and your moans became music to my ears. I remember the things your lips and tongue did that gave me my first ‘out of body experience’.

I remember how your eyes led me to the shower, THAT… I could never forget. I remember trembling from the cold water, but holding you tight made things a little better. I remember the water trickling down our backs and our hands explored each other’s body while our tongues frolicked to places they’ve never been. I remember every second of what happened there and thereafter.

I remember at the end of our moment of bliss, how we laid there in silence, but so much was said as we held each other. That did something to me. That’s the reason why to this day… I still remember.

"But the truth remains, you're gone"

 

 

There's a thousand words that I could say, to make you come home, yeah, seems so long ago you walked away, Left me alone. I remember what you said to me “You were acting so strange” and maybe I was too blind to see that you needed a change.

Was it something I said to make you turn away? To make you walk out and leave me cold. If I could just find a way to make it so that you were right here, right now.

I've been sitting here can't get you off my mind; I've tried my best to be a man and be strong. I drove myself insane Wishing I could touch your face But the truth remains… You're gone,
You're gone, Baby you're gone, Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone…

I don't want to make excuses, baby, Won't change the fact that you're gone, But if there's something that I could do, Won't you please let me know? The time is passing so slowly now. Guess that's my life without you and maybe I could change my every day But baby I don't want to.  

So I'll just hang around and find some things to do to take my mind off missing you, and I know in my heart you can't say that you don't love me too… Please say you do

Yeah, I've been sitting here, Can't get you off my mind, I've tried my best to be a man and be strong. I Drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face, But the truth remains… You're gone

Oh what'll I do, If I can't be with you, Tell me where will I turn to, Baby who will I be now that we are apart. Am I still in your heart?   Baby why don't you see, that I need you here with me.

Letter to the Ex (Part 6)

I’m glad that we’re back on talking terms. I simply want us to be friends again. You were always someone I could talk to, someone I felt comfortable sharing my deepest thoughts with and trust you to keep them safe. I’m glad to have that back.

The conversations we have now, I’ve come to cherish each and every one. You still know how to make me smile, how to make me laugh and how to make my sorrows go away. I love that I can still do the same for you.

I know people say it’s hard/foolish to be friends with your ex, but I want to prove them wrong. I know it’s a bit complicated at times, especially when we both seem to forget that we’re JUST FRIENDS, but I think that’s inevitable because underneath it all, it’s obvious that we still have feelings for each other.

I like where we are right now and I hope it stays that way…… but, who knows what the future holds?

Anytime you need a friend.

If you're lonely and need a friend and troubles seem like they never end, Just remember to keep the faith and love will be there to light the way

Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright

When the shadows are closing in and your spirit diminishing, Just remember you're not alone and love will be there, To guide you home .
 
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright
  

If you just believe in me, I will love you endlessly. Take my hand, Take me into your heart, I'll be there forever baby, I won't let go... I'll never let go.

Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
It's alright
It's alright

Letter to a Friend: The End.

I think its best we end our friendship, I can't believe after everything, I'm saying that now. I'm tired, really and truly tired, you've done a lot of things and I've forgiven you, thinking you'd learn, thinking you'd change but it doesn't seem like that's something you can do. You're just being YOU and it would be wrong for me to want you to change for me, so I think its best I just step away. I can't have a friend who keeps things from me, I can't have a friend who continuously lies to me, I can't have a friend who betrays me and hides it, then laughs and smile with me, I CAN'T. After everything we've been through, I can't believe you still continue to make the same mistakes over and over.  
I remember the 1st time you told me a lie and made me feel guilty for not 'trusting' you, things came to light and the truth came out, I forgave you and we said no more surprises. What happened to that promise? The second time, you went to someone with something that had you trusted me, you would have never done. I forgave you for that, we moved on. The third time you hurt me, you once again asked for forgiveness and we said no more surprises and you said "I know I've said this before, but I mean it this time, it won't happen again and I mean it this time", I once again forgave you. (Do I forgive too easily? Yeah, I think so) Why didn't you use that opportunity to come clean about everything? How many times am I going to say, JUST BE HONEST WITH ME, JUST BE OPEN WITH ME AND DON’T KEEP THINGS FROM ME? Well, I'm tired of saying it, this is the last time I'm saying it.
YOU did it this time; YOU ended our friendship. As I said before, I can’t have a friend who I can’t trust and you’ve given me more than enough reasons to not trust you, but I always seem to forgive you. This time, you went too far and to be honest… I don't even hate you. You simply have a lot of growing up to do, I hope you do. I’m not going to even tell you what you did, you should know, I’m just watching to see if you’ll learn and come clean on your own account, until then, I have nothing to say to you.

Everything Fades Away

This is another ‘Song that says everything’ from Mariah Carey. It goes well with the mood I’m in right now. A somber mood, feeling hurt, betrayed by someone you thought you knew. Being tired of putting up with the same lies and dishonesty, being tired of hearing “I’m sorry”, being tired of saying “Okay, I forgive you”. I can’t anymore… “Everything fades away”.

Baby don't tell me you miss me you love me, Don't whisper gently that you can't forget me, Tonight,  tonight cause I've heard it all before. Just turn away don't play that game, Baby I don't want to anymore.

Let it all fade away, don’t you know that love is gone, it’s too late. Everything fades away; nothing ever stays the same Baby.

Don't tell me you're sorry you hurt me, how many times can I give in, how many battles can you win, Oh don't beg for mercy, Tonight, tonight cause I can't take any more.
Just turn around don't break me down, Baby I don't love you like before.

 (P.S This has nothing to do with the EX) 

The friend who went away

We had so many great times but now you have to go. I want you to know that I cherish every moment spent with you and I will always hold those memories close to my heart. I’m glad to call you my friend, one of my best friends, someone who in such a short space of time, came into my life and cemented your place in my heart.

Our friendship has not been perfect, but is there such a thing as perfection? We have had obstacles that tested what we had but the bond we shared proved too much to let anything end our friendship.

It’s time for you to go and I just want you to know that I love you and that I’m going to miss you. Miss hanging with you, miss talking to you and miss seeing you. I know with you going away, nothing is going to change. Even though we didn’t see each other every single day, knowing you were just a phone call or a BBM away, made things so much easier. Knowing you’re going away, the distance between us is going to leave an unexplainable emptiness, but until you return, I want you to know that I Love you and miss you already.

Letter to the Ex (Part 5)

A year and months have passed since we parted ways, yet still there are uncertainties in my mind about you. I must say, I’m in a better place emotionally, but I try never to lie to myself, so I’ll say it… Thoughts of you still lingers.

I still love you, and I know you still say that you love me too, but my complaints still stands. I’m tired of hearing it, when you start showing it, then your words will have more meaning. I still smile when you say “I Love You” but I know ITS JUST WORDS.

Thinking about it, Am I still ‘IN LOVE’ with you? No, I’m not. Do I still ‘HAVE LOVE’ for you? Without a doubt, I do.  You were the first to capture my heart and with that, there’s a place in there for you, no matter what. I’ve accepted what we are, two confused individuals who due to current and past circumstances, can’t be together again. Or can we? Hahhahahaahahah

As I’ve said many times, what is to be will be. We are currently happy apart and I’m content with that. Just know that I still have love for you.  <3

A Song that says EVERYTHING

If you know me, you’d know how much I love Mariah Carey and the music she produces. If you’re too young to know the Mariah Carey of yesteryear, then to get a hint of the type of music she produced, think of her as the Adele of the 90’s. She was able to sing a song and capture in every essence your exact feelings, whether you’re in love or going through a breakup. You can always find a Mariah Carey song that makes you wonder “Is she in my head, how is it she’s feeling what I’m feeling?” Her song ‘Breakdown’ off her 1997 album ‘Butterfly’ does that for me. After my breakup, the song touched me, and said everything that I was feeling. Just read the lyrics and read them again.

You called yesterday to basically say that you care for me but… that you're just not in love.
Immediately, I pretended to be feeling similarly and led you to believe I was ok to just walk away from the one thing that's unyielding and sacred to me.

Well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it and I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you, but in reality I'm slowly losing my mind underneath the guise of a smile gradually, I'm dying inside.
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering. So, I wear my disguise Til I go home at night and turn down all the lights and then I break down and cry.

So, what do you do when somebody you're devoted to suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue of the pain that rejection is putting you through. Do you cling to your pride and sing "I Will Survive"? Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way"? Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away?